Just Breathe….

I had every intention of posting a purely quilty post this morning along with a review of a new (to me?) product called Flatter.  I’ll still do that, but I find myself sitting here the last few days and especially this morning with my eyes constantly leaking and the inability to breathe.  Mainly because of this old man…

IMG_2906I wish I could put into words all the love I feel for him and how much my heart is breaking.  We are nearing our final days I fear.  His appetite (which has never been good particularly…he’s a picky little turd and what King Bubba wants, King Bubba gets…we all know who is to blame for that) has been waning for the past week and this morning he wouldn’t even eat his go to thing that he never turns down…white bread.

IMG_3732We started underwater treadmill therapy on Friday to try and build some core strength and muscle mass in those back legs.  I realize that at 14 I am buying time, but I have his kidney values well controlled…so it’s just those damn hips/legs without muscle mass to support him in the rear.  The hardest thing is to be a veterinarian and NOT be able to fix your own baby.  Harder still is knowing that the time is coming soon will you will have to make the ultimate decision, be strong and be there with him until the end because that is what you owe him for all the years of love and joy he has brought into your life.  I have never felt so ill equipped for that role in my life.  I am a hopeful person, I am a strong person…but knowing this is coming is killing me.  When do you make the call that it’s time to give up hope?  It’s ironic, I counsel clients all the time on this.  Clients who I consider friends.  I know the right things to say to encourage them when it’s time to let go and what to say to make sure they don’t feel guilt over their decision.  Funny how it doesn’t hold water when it’s me telling it to myself 🙂

IMG_3735But for now, he’s looking sexy in his socks and doing a lot of sleeping.  And getting lots of hugs and kisses and all the love I can give him.  He’s my boy, my Bubba Jr.  Any emotional strength you can send my way…much appreciated 🙂  And if you could find the switch to turn off my water works so I can get some work done for the coming week and meet some presentation and article deadlines that are looming…well, then even better 🙂   Thanks for listening and I promise more sewing/quilting updates coming soon.  Until then, may your days be “golden” ❤


10 thoughts on “Just Breathe….

  1. Bless you all. I let my last furry baby go too long (a schipperke). She was 18 when I found her one morning with her legs all splayed out unable to stand. It’s the hardest of decisions. I do firmly believe that such dear good dogs do go to heaven. God’s blessings and hugs.

  2. You have given him the greatest gifts there are to give: a loving home, hugs and kisses and care. I am sure, if he could, he would say “Mom, you are the best.” Work is good. It won’t take your mind off of your baby, but it will keep you busy. Think about you.

  3. I feel for you – god it’s so hard. The worst part is that you have to make a decision that is for the best interest of the animal when your heart is breaking. I think you will know when he is hurting or simply can’t walk anymore and you will do what’s best for him. But looking onto those golden loving eyes …. I will say a prayer for you.

  4. Prayers for you and Bubba. So sorry you have to go through this. Hugs coming through cyberspace right now.

  5. This is such a beautiful post, Lori. I’m so sorry about Bubba Jr but I am also so glad he had you and your home and family to make his life wonderful. He will be missed, but that just shows how much he was loved! I’m still thinking of you…

  6. Lori, I just found your blog from Hip to be a Square and read this post and my eyes are full of tears for you and Bubba Jr. He knows how much you love him, I’m sure, and you know you are doing all you can for him – loving him being the most important. I’m sending prayers and hugs for both of you. Losing our furry babies in this life is so hard, I know.

    • Thank you so much Denise! sorry for the delay in responding 🙂 Sure miss that golden boy but know he’s in a much better place. Hugs 🙂

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